Dating in your 30s is very different from dating in your 20s. Your 20s are a carefree time full of fun and spontaneity, while once you hit your 30s, you tend to be looking for something more serious and substantial. You’re also more likely to have at least one serious relationship under your belt and might be carrying some baggage. Coming out of a long-term relationship, you’re bound to be disappointed that the dating pool has shrunk considerably.
But that life experience has also made you much smarter and more sure of what you want than you were in your 20s. At this age, you know yourself and are more comfortable in your own skin. This is a stage of life when you are ready to forge a deep, lasting connection with someone else.
Dating in Your 30s: 9 Crucial Tips
Here are some tips for dating in your 30s:
1. Know What You Want
Your life experience and past relationships are sure to have given you a better idea of what you want out of a relationship. Still, it doesn’t hurt to take out a pad and pen and make a list of what you want and don’t want. It can help to write down the names of your last few partners and what you did and didn’t appreciate about them. You will probably begin to see a pattern and figure out what will make you happiest in a relationship.
2. Make Sure You’re Comfortable on Your Own
You’re never going to be happy with someone until you learn to be happy on your own. With more and more of your friends coupling up, moving to the suburbs, and having kids, you are bound to have more alone time. It may feel tempting to jump into a relationship to escape loneliness, but it’s important that you like spending time with yourself before you devote it to someone else.
3. Check Out Potential Partners on AnswerLady
As you peruse dating apps, you will hopefully find a few matches that you think have potential. Before diving in too deep, it’s a good idea to run a name or reverse phone lookup search on a person to learn more about their background. If you encounter any red flags, you will be able to avoid what could be a disastrous relationship before it starts and focus on the truly worthy candidates.
4. Date Outside Your Usual “Type”
When you’re dating in your 20s, you may have a very specific type of person in mind. But when you’re dating in your 30s, you should try to be a bit more open-minded about the type of person you would date. So what if he doesn’t have dark hair and blue eyes? Or maybe she doesn’t share all of your same interests. It’s worth it to give someone a chance, even if they’re not the type you usually go for.
5. Don’t Rush
Those friends of yours who have already gotten married and started their families may have you feeling like you should rush into those things yourself. You may hear your biological clock ticking and worry that if you don’t find him now, you’ll never have the family you always envisioned for yourself. But it’s important to focus on finding someone you really connect with and building a relationship that will last. This is something that takes time, and you can’t rush it.
6. Never Forget to Have Fun
With all the pressure you feel to get on with things and get married, you may forget that dating is supposed to be fun. You get to meet new people and try new things! As a person in your 30s, you can also probably afford dates that are a lot more enjoyable than the ones you went on in your 20s.
7. Don’t Let Bad Dates Get You Down
If you’ve been in the dating game for a while, it can get disheartening to go out on one bad date after another. It can be especially frustrating when the only friends you have to vent to are already in happy relationships. But bad dates are unfortunately just a fact of dating life. Try to take each one as a lesson in what you don’t want, and remember that once the sting is gone, that bad date will probably make a great story.
8. Don’t Settle
With the dating pool being as small as it is and all your friend’s pairing up to live happily ever after, you might decide to settle down with the next person who shows interest just because you feel like you should. There are still plenty of great potential partners out there, especially if you’re open-minded about people who may not seem like your usual type.
9. Don’t Seek Perfection
While you shouldn’t settle, you also shouldn’t dream up an idea of the perfect partner and get upset when no one conforms to it. When it comes to relationships, you need to learn to accept the other person—flaws and all.
In some ways, dating in your 30s is harder than dating in your 20s. There are fewer people to date and more pressure to get serious right away. But you can also enter relationships as a more self-actualized person and have a much better chance of achieving a deep, satisfying relationship.
Hopefully, these tips will help you to navigate the world of dating in your 30s. When you find someone you think might be a good match, just remember to check them out on AnswerLady. Then you can feel safe and comfortable moving forward with who just might be the one.